Trembling lips quiver, a line of saliva not-so-subtly escaping the corner of your mouth. You inhale deeply as you fork the meat-log, dopamine coursing through your veins as the tension of the outer skin gives way with a delicate POP!, a small geyser of juices bursting forth from the puncture wounds.
Decedent...
♫
Juicy…
♫♫
Moist…
♫♫♫
Meaty…
♫♫♫♫
Sizzling…
♫♫♫♫♫
WIENERS!
Any civility you may have had at the beginning of this meal is all but lost, the link vanishing within seconds into your salivating oral crevice. You may have been a bit too eager- a HARUMPH of displeasure as you pull the fork from your mouth, brow furrowed- a few of the tines now bent. A tad too hasty, perhaps. Ah, well. You inhale deeply through your nose as you chew, exhaling via the same route. It had been a long day- and- what is THAT RACKET!?
♫...♫...♫
You barely noticed before, in your eagerness to sate the hunger that had been nipping at your heels all day, the slow, building swell in the distance.
♫..♫..♫
Every hair on your body stands on end, the tips of your ears blushing crimson. One does NOT simply interrupt a gnome enjoying the fine delicacy that is wieners!
♫.♫.♫
Except perhaps… the melody crawls into your ear like a parasite, twisting and writhing. What WERE you so mad about, again? Jaw going loose, crumbles of half-chewed meat tumble to the forest floor as you stand, your eyes glazing over. Who could be mad at a time like this, while listening to this beautiful song? As if in a trance, you turn on your heel, fork tumbling to the ground as you leave your well-established camp. The embers of your fire flicker in this distance as the song draws you in, guiding your feet.
Snow White is waiting. 

The main camp, where you will manage your leaders, troops, and gain intel.

Union of Gnomes is the first title developed by Hoolignomes- an incredibly small studio comprised of just a handful of very talented individuals. Touting plenty of tongue-in-cheek humor, this rogue-like deck builder brings a lot of amusement to the table with plenty of meme-y references, and a very signature art style that is sure to please. While regulars to the genre will find themselves right at home with the concept, it is explained in a way that will make it easy to understand for beginners as well. Hoolignomes also brings some RPG-like elements to the table, giving you with several “Commanders” to choose from as you progress through the story. This provides players with different methods to approach combat, each Commander having a unique set of strengths, and passives. As they level, you are not only able to gain traits, but stats as well, giving you a much needed upper hand in combat.

Gorgeous and fun character design really are at the heart of this game.

The story woven through Union of Gnomes is a bit of a “Twisted Fairy Tale”- as you are part of the gnome rebellion, fighting to free your gnome brethren. Held captive in Gnomontanomo, a re-education camp that essentially makes gnomes into slaves, you and a few others have escaped, and aim to free those left behind. With Snow White leading the charge, her hypnotic voice keeping the gnomes enslaved- you’ve met your match. Gather troops as you go, build a resistance, and be sure to stock up on wieners before you go. It’s a long journey. Your troops going to get hungry.

Manage your troops. Be mindful of how many wieners they eat, though-you might find travel difficult on an empty stomach.

The overall style Union of Gnomes uses feels very“2000’s Flash”- and it lends wonderfully to the humor, as well as to an easy to understand and well put together UI. Menus are simple and easy to navigate, as well as understand when it comes to upgrading passives and stats, and the deck editor is wonderfully intuitive to use. There are no frills, just simple and straightforward navigation, with clear explanations. This also carries over into the Overworld map, as well as the chapter maps, where most of the roguelike elements come into play. Simplicity and clarity are at the forefront of the design, with a cute cartoony aesthetic that is well done, and a joy to use.

Play your way, distributing skill points in ways that work best with your play style.

Actual battle mechanics are incredibly straightforward. Your leader has hit points that, once depleted, end your run. They lead a wagon full of gnomes, containing both your starting deck, as well as any friends you’ve picked up along the way. You can use wieners to gain health, have no mana cost, or do an all out attack- given you have a stash to use. You also use wieners as energy, moving you through the map. Be careful- if you runout, your troops will begin to faint. Playing cards from your hand is basic drag and drop, targeting yourself of one of your opponents. I did find at times the brackets to use the cards in were a little fickle, but over all effective. Your cards will have certain effects that will either benefit you, or impact the enemy. There’s a fair share of effects you can utilize in your play-styles such as adding armor, poison, moving enemy order, and pulling gnomes from the wagon or discard pile. Choose wisely!

Make your way along the chapter map to advance the story -and work toward freeing your gnome brethren.

Controls and game play aside, the sound design is ample. While fitting in it’s own way, it feels somewhat like one of the weaker parts of Union of Gnomes. Music in the main camp consists of some looping, dated “war time-y” music that, while it works, feels dated and uninspired. With such a bold and bright art style, I really wanted some music to match. Overwhelmingly, while it all works, it feels more like copyright free music , and I feel like this was a bit of a missed opportunity. I do hope in the future, they will perhaps consider revamping the score to something that lends more to the overall tone.

Don't be deceived by their low HP and singular adorable beady eye. Pigeons  WILL be the bane of your existence. You just don't know it yet.

While Union of Gnomes has a few minor shortcomings ultimately, it is a wonderful first title that Hoolignomes has entered the market with. Bright, colorful and funny, it brings some unique takes to the roguelike deck builder genre, which is refreshing considering how popular the genre has become in recent years. Still being in early access, there is still a huge amount of wiggle room to address the few fleeting issues, and at a mere $14.99 USD, you will more than get your moneys worth. Overall, UoG is a fantastic title, with a good entertainment value, that is easy to enjoy.

Currently, Union of Gnome is available for PC on Steam.